2008 Woodie Awards
Sex and The Cynic
Anne Tor
Issue date: 4/4/06 Section: Columns
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For most, having your heart broken leads to devastating effects. Happiness seems like a lifetime away as you feel your life crumble around you, and sink into the quicksand that is depression. Appetite becomes a non-issue as pajamas become your everyday attire, not to mention your sudden enthrallment by the endless reruns of Law & Order. Meanwhile, your eyes glance towards your cellphone every ten seconds in case you missed a call or text message, and away messages serve as an insight into the life of your once beloved. It's messy and it's sad, and it leaves you a changed person.
While many justify breakups with the reassuring motto, "At least I learned something," the truth remains that bitterness will inevitably ensue. As you begin to come out of your funk, your joy at finally being "over it" is paralleled with an overall cynicism. Your resentment towards your relationship morphs into resentment towards all relationships. Instead of moving on with a clean slate, our psyches are tainted by the catastrophe, as are our attitudes towards future prospects.
There are many who view cynicism towards the dating world as a good thing. They believe that an eternally closed off heart and will lead to many carefree relationships that end with little more effort that ripping off a band-aid. Living their post-heart break lives in irrelevant relationship after irrelevant relationship, they carry on without even the slightest inclination to risk love again.
However, as logical as this approach seems, in actuality, it is a cop-out. If one were to tackle other aspects of life with this same mentality, their existence would be worthless. Avoiding love at the risk of heartbreak is comparable to avoiding alcohol at the risk of throwing up, or avoiding school at the risk of failing, or avoiding a job at the risk of getting fired. Considering the good things that can come of these endeavors outweigh the possible negative outcomes, playing it safe grows to be a moronic preemptive strike against something with awesome potential.
While many justify breakups with the reassuring motto, "At least I learned something," the truth remains that bitterness will inevitably ensue. As you begin to come out of your funk, your joy at finally being "over it" is paralleled with an overall cynicism. Your resentment towards your relationship morphs into resentment towards all relationships. Instead of moving on with a clean slate, our psyches are tainted by the catastrophe, as are our attitudes towards future prospects.
There are many who view cynicism towards the dating world as a good thing. They believe that an eternally closed off heart and will lead to many carefree relationships that end with little more effort that ripping off a band-aid. Living their post-heart break lives in irrelevant relationship after irrelevant relationship, they carry on without even the slightest inclination to risk love again.
However, as logical as this approach seems, in actuality, it is a cop-out. If one were to tackle other aspects of life with this same mentality, their existence would be worthless. Avoiding love at the risk of heartbreak is comparable to avoiding alcohol at the risk of throwing up, or avoiding school at the risk of failing, or avoiding a job at the risk of getting fired. Considering the good things that can come of these endeavors outweigh the possible negative outcomes, playing it safe grows to be a moronic preemptive strike against something with awesome potential.