2008 Woodie Awards
Sex and The Cynic
Anne Tor
Issue date: 4/18/06 Section: Columns
- Page 1 of 2 next >
By the time we reach college, almost everyone can confirm that they have cheated, or have been cheated on, or have helped someone else to cheat. This constant battle for/against monogamy has afflicted relationships since the beginning of time, and has reached its way into the top reasons for break-ups. People everywhere are sitting their partner down, and uttering those six dreaded words, "I need to tell you something." It's horrible, and it's uncomfortable. That is, if you decide to tell…
While it can be assumed that someone, somewhere in the world is using this very moment to finally be honest, it is undeniable that someone, somewhere is also using this moment to make the decision to keep things to themselves. Yes, the cheating conversation is none too pleasing, but there are those of us who decided to skip it altogether, and move on.
Generally, when it comes to this touchy subject, there are two parties of thought. One states that any cheating, on any level, should not be kept in the dark. They believe when it comes infidelity, the significant other should be informed immediately, if not sooner. One friend noted the acceptability of informing the person prior to the act itself.
On the opposite end of the spectrum are those who believe that the decision to tell should be circumstantial. Disclosing the recent indiscretion is based on characteristics of the tryst.
However, before delving into that, it is important to first answer another question. What constitutes cheating? When does flirting end, and cheating begin? Some would argue that cheating begins when flirting reaches an intense level. Others are quite liberal in their thought and believe that you've only cheated once you've had sex. For the sake of this article, cheating will begin when lips touch. In other words, kissing is the first step of infidelity.
This brings us back to the initial issue at hand. What is to be done after? As stated before, for some it is simple. If you cheat, you tell. However, while this appears as an effort to do your significant other a favor, telling can also be construed as a selfish act, which ties into the second ideology concerning the matter. Rather than carry the burden of the guilt on your own shoulders, you feel the need to share the load. In revealing that you have cheated, you in a sense relieve yourself of some of the pain and force it onto your partner.
While it can be assumed that someone, somewhere in the world is using this very moment to finally be honest, it is undeniable that someone, somewhere is also using this moment to make the decision to keep things to themselves. Yes, the cheating conversation is none too pleasing, but there are those of us who decided to skip it altogether, and move on.
Generally, when it comes to this touchy subject, there are two parties of thought. One states that any cheating, on any level, should not be kept in the dark. They believe when it comes infidelity, the significant other should be informed immediately, if not sooner. One friend noted the acceptability of informing the person prior to the act itself.
On the opposite end of the spectrum are those who believe that the decision to tell should be circumstantial. Disclosing the recent indiscretion is based on characteristics of the tryst.
However, before delving into that, it is important to first answer another question. What constitutes cheating? When does flirting end, and cheating begin? Some would argue that cheating begins when flirting reaches an intense level. Others are quite liberal in their thought and believe that you've only cheated once you've had sex. For the sake of this article, cheating will begin when lips touch. In other words, kissing is the first step of infidelity.
This brings us back to the initial issue at hand. What is to be done after? As stated before, for some it is simple. If you cheat, you tell. However, while this appears as an effort to do your significant other a favor, telling can also be construed as a selfish act, which ties into the second ideology concerning the matter. Rather than carry the burden of the guilt on your own shoulders, you feel the need to share the load. In revealing that you have cheated, you in a sense relieve yourself of some of the pain and force it onto your partner.
Be the first to comment on this story