Vermont Cynic

Issue date: 4/25/06 Section: Life and Style

Media Credit: jcpenny.com

I have been waiting all year for this time to come, pacing around my room late at night, daydreaming during class. Oh boy, oh boy!

The day is finally here, and I get to talk about bathing suits. We are barely a month away from graduation, and sandy shores seem closer than ever.

Whether you are going to St. Tropez or the coast of Jersey, a bathing suit will make a world of a difference, especially in those candid shots the paparazzi will be taking of you hiding in the bushes.

As far as swimwear, there are so many styles to choose from this season that naming all of them would take up more than my alloted space. Instead, I will focus on the creme of the crop, and give a few guidelines for each style.

First and foremost, bikinis will obviously, as many years before this, be a huge presence on beaches around the world.

Finding a bikini that fits, however, is harder in America than anywhere else, partly because most stores sell entire suits, instead of separate pieces (so finding the right size can be very hard), secondly, there is the American-as-apple-pie tendency to wear huge bottoms that look more like diapers than beachwear.

A good rule of thumb is that you want the bottoms to fit snugly, but not too tight as to bring a muffin top to life.

As far as coverage, it obviously depends on your level of comfort, but generally speaking, you want to show some cheek without crossing into the thong threshold.

Avoid mainstream brands like Gap and J. Crew (they absolutely adore huge bottoms), and buy online from Salinas, Vitamin A or Susana Monaco. They are pricier, but definetly worth the bucks.

For those who just did not feel like working out all winter to wear a brazilian bikini this summer, do not despair. Boy-cut shorts are still a big trend, as well as mini skirt-bottoms.

This year, all things nautical rule the catwalks, and swimwear is no exeption.

Go for shades of white, blue or stripes, especially if a cute sailing belt is included, ala Ursula Andress.

One-piece suits are making a comeback, in the sophisticated incarnation of cut-outs and retro pieces with belts or bandeau tops. Cut-out suits (also known as monokinis) have the advantage of covering areas of the body we might not want to show, while making the most of out best assets.

Wide hips can be easily hidden with a suit that shows the rib and stomach area, with an elongating stripe down the abdomen.

If cleaveage is your tool of seduction, a one-piece whose cleaveage comes down to the stomach area is super sexy but sophisticated at the same time, because it shows one that part of your body while covering others, avoiding being too revealing.

Some designers have created some impressive tube-top boy-short suits that are just irresistible, and extremely flattering to all bodies.

Styles to avoid at all costs are tankinis (they are extremely juvenile and passe) and one-piece suits that look right out of swimming practice.

As far as cleavage goes, less is more. Keep in mind that you are revealing a great portion of your golden tan body, so overdoing it in this department will add up to significant trash points. Especially if the twins are popping up from the sides, or (gasp!) under your top.

And of course, the diaper butt. Unless you are a toddler, and it's either that or unfortunate accidents.

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