2008 Woodie Awards
The Rocks In Your Shoes
Katharine Hopkins
Issue date: 12/5/06 Section: Columns
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When it comes to holidays, Thanksgiving really gets the shaft. It's not even as enthusiastically anticipated as such minor holidays as St. Valentine's Day or Mother's Day. Instead, it is forgotten all year long, until we remember that we get time off from school and work.
Thanksgiving was inspired by the pilgrims, who took a wrong turn (See Columbus Day) and found themselves freezing and hungry in a cold, wet land. Many pilgrims starved that winter, and no one had iPods then. When the next November rolled around, then, they were properly thankful for the survival of the fittest, and those friendly, unsuspecting natives who showed them how to cultivate.
Nowadays we all get annoyed at the person who asks us what we are thankful for, and after much grumbling and hesitating we all agree "family, turkey and my iPod". After much soul searching, someone might think of "freedom" and "Mom's candied yams," but most of us can't relate to that original giving of thanks (before you object, I said 'most', which in America means 48 percent and 5 supreme court justices).
Giving thanks doesn't seem to do it for us anymore. There's no hype about Thanksgiving, no songs or TV coverage. In the face of catalogues full of Christmas carols, Turkey Day weakly provides short ditties written by kindergarten teachers warning turkeys of their fates.
The top song used to be "One Little, Two Little, Three Little Indians," but in our politically correct era, "One Little, Two Little, Three Little Wampanoag Native Americans" doesn't seem to fit the right meter. The only media-palooza is the Macy's Parade - which actually celebrates balloons - and Black Friday commercials - which is the economy's way of looking at the stock market crash and saying "Well, let's not do that again".
It's just not a stylish holiday - the colors are unflattering (you can't do much with brown and orange) and no one wants turkey flavored candy, or Marshmallow Peeps shaped like Myles Standish. So in those last few months of every year, Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was inspired by the pilgrims, who took a wrong turn (See Columbus Day) and found themselves freezing and hungry in a cold, wet land. Many pilgrims starved that winter, and no one had iPods then. When the next November rolled around, then, they were properly thankful for the survival of the fittest, and those friendly, unsuspecting natives who showed them how to cultivate.
Nowadays we all get annoyed at the person who asks us what we are thankful for, and after much grumbling and hesitating we all agree "family, turkey and my iPod". After much soul searching, someone might think of "freedom" and "Mom's candied yams," but most of us can't relate to that original giving of thanks (before you object, I said 'most', which in America means 48 percent and 5 supreme court justices).
Giving thanks doesn't seem to do it for us anymore. There's no hype about Thanksgiving, no songs or TV coverage. In the face of catalogues full of Christmas carols, Turkey Day weakly provides short ditties written by kindergarten teachers warning turkeys of their fates.
The top song used to be "One Little, Two Little, Three Little Indians," but in our politically correct era, "One Little, Two Little, Three Little Wampanoag Native Americans" doesn't seem to fit the right meter. The only media-palooza is the Macy's Parade - which actually celebrates balloons - and Black Friday commercials - which is the economy's way of looking at the stock market crash and saying "Well, let's not do that again".
It's just not a stylish holiday - the colors are unflattering (you can't do much with brown and orange) and no one wants turkey flavored candy, or Marshmallow Peeps shaped like Myles Standish. So in those last few months of every year, Thanksgiving
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