2008 Woodie Awards
The Fashion Police
TERRA-NOVA SADOWSKI
Issue date: 12/5/06 Section: Life and Style
- Page 1 of 1
It seemed to start out like any other Thursday. My eyes fluttered open to the sound of my roommate heading out for her 8:00 a.m. class. She opened the door to leave, but not before I caught a blurry-eyed glimpse of her outfit.
Immediately I assumed I was still asleep. Hopefully this was a dream; but I couldn't take the chance that this fashion nightmare was really about to explode onto Athletic Campus. I fell from my bunk in shock and hurled myself forward just in time to blitzkrieg her to the floor.
"Tina, you forgot to put on pants!" Sure enough, there was definitely some coverage lacking from my roommate's backside. "Hey, get off me!" she replied. "I don't need to wear jeans. I'm wearing Spandex."
No. In fact, you do need to wear jeans. Or a skirt, or shorts or anything that is not so thin and revealing it would be considered a pair of tights were you able to see through them. Just because 80s leggings have somehow adapted to life in 2006 does not make them a good fashion choice.
You have to step back for a second and consider the purpose of pants: attractiveness, warmth, and surprisingly, to promote a certain degree of modesty. Most people in Vermont need a little more than one millimeter of insulation to protect them from winter's arctic chill, and particular parts of the human body don't need to be put on display for all to see - no matter how cute you think your tush is.
Also, wearing long shirts to cover your butt is like putting on a t-shirt with no bra. It's just not a good idea to go halfway. When I see girls doing this, I think that somewhere deep down inside them they must know it's ridiculous to wear pants so tight people can see the thirty-four cents in your pocket; but they must also be possessed by the trend so much that they're unwilling to let reason get in the way of fashion.
Not being able to make up their minds between sanity and spandex, I'm assuming they ultimately decided to double their shirt as an extremely short dress. This look brings to mind the go-go dancers of the 60s, and let's just say there's a reason that style became extinct.
The only people allowed to wear pants that don't fully conceal the butt include interpretive dancers, 80s gymnasts and possibly people dressed as giant hot dogs promoting the local Meat Shack.
Please understand, these professionals have artistic licenses that are rare to come by. I know all us girls out there love our Fergalicious lady lumps, but it's Vermont, and it's December. Let's give the boys a break.
Immediately I assumed I was still asleep. Hopefully this was a dream; but I couldn't take the chance that this fashion nightmare was really about to explode onto Athletic Campus. I fell from my bunk in shock and hurled myself forward just in time to blitzkrieg her to the floor.
"Tina, you forgot to put on pants!" Sure enough, there was definitely some coverage lacking from my roommate's backside. "Hey, get off me!" she replied. "I don't need to wear jeans. I'm wearing Spandex."
No. In fact, you do need to wear jeans. Or a skirt, or shorts or anything that is not so thin and revealing it would be considered a pair of tights were you able to see through them. Just because 80s leggings have somehow adapted to life in 2006 does not make them a good fashion choice.
You have to step back for a second and consider the purpose of pants: attractiveness, warmth, and surprisingly, to promote a certain degree of modesty. Most people in Vermont need a little more than one millimeter of insulation to protect them from winter's arctic chill, and particular parts of the human body don't need to be put on display for all to see - no matter how cute you think your tush is.
Also, wearing long shirts to cover your butt is like putting on a t-shirt with no bra. It's just not a good idea to go halfway. When I see girls doing this, I think that somewhere deep down inside them they must know it's ridiculous to wear pants so tight people can see the thirty-four cents in your pocket; but they must also be possessed by the trend so much that they're unwilling to let reason get in the way of fashion.
Not being able to make up their minds between sanity and spandex, I'm assuming they ultimately decided to double their shirt as an extremely short dress. This look brings to mind the go-go dancers of the 60s, and let's just say there's a reason that style became extinct.
The only people allowed to wear pants that don't fully conceal the butt include interpretive dancers, 80s gymnasts and possibly people dressed as giant hot dogs promoting the local Meat Shack.
Please understand, these professionals have artistic licenses that are rare to come by. I know all us girls out there love our Fergalicious lady lumps, but it's Vermont, and it's December. Let's give the boys a break.
Be the first to comment on this story