2008 Woodie Awards
For a final flourish, Fidler rouses a real life rivalry
JASON FIDLER Senior Staff Writer
Issue date: 12/5/06 Section: Sports
- Page 1 of 2 next >
At the end of this semester my time at UVM will be up. I am transferring to a different university in January; the reasons why are not important in regard to this piece.
My experiences as a collegiate sports fan here at Vermont have been largely a mixed bag, yet until recently I had no idea why. Then, as I was pondering what to write about for my last article in The Cynic, the answer came to me in an epiphanic revelation: we, as Catamounts have no rivalry.
You see, in order to foster a positive environment for collegiate athletics, and get the community involved, a little bit of animosity is needed. Harvard hates Yale, Boston College hates Boston University, Ohio State hates Michigan, and all other schools hate Notre Dame.
UVM? We hate nobody. We are (almost) always respectful and courteous towards our competitive opponents. Yet like I always say, every now and then hatred is good for the soul.
So, like a mortally wounded soldier tossing a grenade over enemy territory on his last breath, I hope that my final Cynic article is a bomb. My target: Binghamton.
Binghamton sucks. They are pathetic in every possible meaning of the word. For example, if you go to their Web site, often times a picture of some college kids looking at trees will appear next to "Binghamton University." Apparently all they do there is look at trees. Not surprising.
Also, where is Binghamton? The truth is no one actually knows for sure. It's probably
somewhere in central New York, because it is a commonly known fact that any school whose destination is unknown is actually in central New York, it said so on Wikipedia.
Therefore they are probably fans of the New York Giants and Domino's new "Brooklyn Style" pizza. As anyone can see, these Binghamton folk are not good people.
Binghamton's athletic mascot is a "bearcat." What the hell is a "bearcat"? Are they really that cognitively disabled over there, somewhere in central NY, that they think that a cross between a bear and a cat actually exists? If there is such a creature as a "bearcat" then I'm running for the hills.
My experiences as a collegiate sports fan here at Vermont have been largely a mixed bag, yet until recently I had no idea why. Then, as I was pondering what to write about for my last article in The Cynic, the answer came to me in an epiphanic revelation: we, as Catamounts have no rivalry.
You see, in order to foster a positive environment for collegiate athletics, and get the community involved, a little bit of animosity is needed. Harvard hates Yale, Boston College hates Boston University, Ohio State hates Michigan, and all other schools hate Notre Dame.
UVM? We hate nobody. We are (almost) always respectful and courteous towards our competitive opponents. Yet like I always say, every now and then hatred is good for the soul.
So, like a mortally wounded soldier tossing a grenade over enemy territory on his last breath, I hope that my final Cynic article is a bomb. My target: Binghamton.
Binghamton sucks. They are pathetic in every possible meaning of the word. For example, if you go to their Web site, often times a picture of some college kids looking at trees will appear next to "Binghamton University." Apparently all they do there is look at trees. Not surprising.
Also, where is Binghamton? The truth is no one actually knows for sure. It's probably
somewhere in central New York, because it is a commonly known fact that any school whose destination is unknown is actually in central New York, it said so on Wikipedia.
Therefore they are probably fans of the New York Giants and Domino's new "Brooklyn Style" pizza. As anyone can see, these Binghamton folk are not good people.
Binghamton's athletic mascot is a "bearcat." What the hell is a "bearcat"? Are they really that cognitively disabled over there, somewhere in central NY, that they think that a cross between a bear and a cat actually exists? If there is such a creature as a "bearcat" then I'm running for the hills.
Be the first to comment on this story